don't be a loser

as a kid

you never heard of a peanut

allergy,

or gluten,

or the Jimmy leg.

no one

ever worried about

carbs,

or smoking,

or the dangers of eating

candy,

or chips, or drinking

cokes all day.

there was no bottled water,

just the spigot

attached to the hose outside,

or the one

in your kitchen sink

that you stood at and puddled

the water into

your mouth

because all the glasses

were dirty.

no one was protesting

meat,

or leather, or lying

on the road

blocking traffic

because it was hot out.

people had blonde, brown,

black,

or reddish hair, or were bald,

no one had blue and pink hair.

and only

farm animals had rings in their noses.

boys had penisis

and girls had

whoo hoos.

there was zero confusion about that.

your dog was never on

a diet,

or had diabetes.

heartworm pills were for

sissy dogs,

dogs on leashes wearing

sweaters and bows.

in the summer

you went home when the sun

went down,

and not before,

if you did, you were a loser.