Yelp gives the trip four stars

at last,

someone yells out,

land ho,

or some such thing.

we're rolling around on the wet

boards below

deck,

seasick and green from

three months

on the open sea.

i've broken three teeth

by trying

to eat the hardtack stored

on board.

if i never see a flounder

again, i'll be happy.

and as God is my witness,

sushi will never again

enter my digestive tract.

we have no idea

what lies ahead.

there's not a store in sight

when we land.

no markets, no churches.

no one to greet us.

there's just a bunch of wild

animals staring

at us with a what the hell

look in their eyes.

and now we have to chase them

and kill them, knit their

furs together

to stay warm.

it takes twenty-one squirrels

to make one jacket.

near starvation, we

gather sticks together

to build a fire.

we're boiling water

to drink,

and making soup out

of bark and local

weeds. suddenly,

out of nowhere, arrows

are being

shot at us.

we are constantly yelling

to each other,

to get down, duck

as angry natives 

maliciously shoot arrows

at us from behind

the trees.

if only we had known all

of this before

we got on the Mayflower.

but the brochure

told us none of this.

our travel agent left out

a few things.