we agree on one single thing in this life

my friend,

Louie, doesn't believe in borders,

we're living

on stolen land,

he tells me.

there's no such

thing as an illegal

immigrant.

no, i tell him, it's conquered

land

and if you let

everyone in without documentation,

you have no

country.

it's why you lock the doors

to your house.

intruders are not

welcome, despite all of the

inclusive

flags planted in your yard.

we've had this discussion

before,

which leads to men dressed

as women,

in sports and bathrooms.

which of course leads to free healthcare

for all,

free food, free buses,

free tuition,

higher taxes and defunding

the police

and the military.

it's exhausting and exasperating,

but we do agree on one thing,

as we remain friends.

we both agree

that it's going to be a tough

year for the Redskins, our favorite

football team.

5 and 12, i suggest.

no, he shouts out,

it's the Commanders.

the Commanders. quit

calling them the Redskins

and being such a racist and a bigot.

but 5 and 12 sounds about right.