this was not my idea

the nurse

tells me that since i haven't been

in for over

a year

to have the dermatologist

check out

my skin from top to bottom,

for barnacles and cancer

spots,

to take off all of

my clothes

except for my fruit of the loom

underwear.

so i sit there in my briefs and wait

on the cold stool

for the doctor to come in.

and then she does,

gasping,

her eyes wide at my nakedness

dropping her cold

air gun to the floor.

quickly i tell her

that this was not my idea.