The No Kings Rally

my friend

Jimmy stops by to shoot the breeze.

he's carrying a megaphone

with him.

dude, i say to him,

what's up with the megaphone?

well, he says,

you know how they're always

having these no king protests

on the overpass,

waving their flags

and blowing their horns?

even though we've never had a king.

yes. but they do have the right

to protest,

you know that right?

sure, sure, first amendment and

all of that.

but i find it annoying

and distracting when i'm

driving about. it's a road hazard

with these

nuts banging their pots and pans

over the highway.

okay, go on i say, waiting

for him to get to the part

about the megaphone.

well, do you also see how most

of these people are boomers,

with white hair and are way overweight?

the last protest they were

in was for the Vietnam war, 

and to demonstrate

how much they hated Nixon.

the senior center drops them off

in the morning

and picks them up later for nap time.

yes, yes go on.

well, when i ride by, i started

thinking,

what do most overweight boomers

like.

coffee, right?

yes. of course. coffee.

coffee and what else?

donuts, scones, that sort of thing,

to eat with their coffee?

exactly.

so what i do is when i ride by

i roll my window down and while

using my megaphone

i yell out.

Safeway is having a sale on Entenman

Crumb Cake.

two for the price of one.

hurry, sale last for one more hour only.

within five minutes they've folded

up their chairs and signs,

and are gone.

genius, right?