can i put you on hold for a minute

I talk to one of my daily scammers

today, not the pharmacy one,
or the IRS one,

or the social security one,

or the credit card one,

but this one is a call from
my old friend
Natasha

in the Ukraine.

she wants to come visit, but
first she needs a few hundred bucks

to order her online applications
for an RN job
in Northern Virginia.

go to Walmart, she tells me
and get me a steam credit card.

I just got my scores and I am okay
to being work now.

I have no idea what in the hell
she's talking about.

she sends me a few inappropriate
photos of herself to sweeten the deal.
a lot of clothes, some clothes, then
just her in a pair of cowboy boots
sipping on an RC cola.

she wants to move in and be the next
love of my life. she asks me if I have
a BMW.

oh brother, I say on the phone.
to which she says.

is your brother there too, i'd like
to meet him.

I have a friend who looks just like me,
how you say, in American,

we are twins, duplicates, carbon copies.
I send you her picture too.

sure, I tell her, bring her along,
bring all your buddies, if they look like
you.

i'll put up some bunk beds in the basement.

hey, look, can I put you on hold,
Wen from china is on the phone,

i'm supposed to pick her up at the airport
tomorrow, after the check clears
that I sent her.