walking on eggshells

the phrase walking
on eggshells
is a familiar one.
we did it around our father
when we were young.
was he happy
today.
was he angry.

did we need to be quiet,
or leave the room.
is it something we said,
or did
that put him in the big
chair
facing the window.
in a cloudy state of gloom?

we were always taking the
temperature of the room.

how it sets the table
for
your life, this short
strange period of time.
wiring you for what's to come.
picking
the exact same troubled soul
to be a husband, or wife,
a mate.

it's so obvious in hindsight.
our unconscious
mistakes, walking on eggshells
has become our
normal, where we think
we're safe.
we think that being
in a constant state
of anxiety
is where we need to be,
in chaos and fear,
our perfect place.