the massage appointment

i make an appointment

with amber, my massage therapist.
i need a serious
rub down i tell her.

back, legs, the whole works.
i need the full treatment.

it's been a hell of a year,
i tell her,

don't get me started. that wonderful
woman i told you about last year
ended up being
the wicked witch of the east.

more of a cell mate than a soul
mate. someone should drop a house
on her.

so i need some massaging.

use your knees, break out a rolling
pin
if you have to.

every muscle and joint in my
body needs kneading.

make it for two hours, i don't
care what it costs.

who is this, the woman on the other
line says.

this isn't amber, this is sally,
amber doesn't work here anymore,

she booked a few months ago.

she met some dude on the internet
and took off in his van.

took her table and all her massage
oils and candles too.

dang. i tell her. how's your hands,
are you strong?