we need to run some tests

I put a call in to my doctor,
she wants
me to come in for a visit.

I ask her if there will be tea
and cookies.

she's a cold fish, a sturgeon
pulled out of an ice
hole
in the north pole.

she doesn't laugh, she has no
sense
of humor,
her funny bone was removed at some
point in her educated life.

we need to run some tests, she says
in her dead pan voice.

like what? I tell her, thinking
back to when I used to take my
dog, moe, to the vet.

always with the blood work.
500 bucks a pop. he's a dog for
god's sake.

he ate a dead squirrel, or
a few grub worms, that's why
he's throwing up.

give him some pepto bismol
and he'll be as good as new.

I tell this to doc W, who I haven't
seen in five years,
and she says something like,
whatever.

alright, I tell her, let me
cash in some of my retirement money
and wheel it over
to the waiting room.

is noon okay?