changing names

for some strange reason
my mother

gave me the middle name
Lee.

whether she had a crush on the confederate
general,
I don't know.

but I suspect she liked
sarah lee's baked

goods, and when pregnant was
eating
a doughy sweet concoction

of factory processed cheesecake
and named
me Lee

after staring at the box,
while tilted towards
her mouth for the last savory
crumb.

but now I guess I have to change it.
because

of all the political correctness
going around.

I have a short list at the moment.
jimmy, I've always liked
the name
jimmy, or Gordon, after the
tv chef, but

LeBron or maybe Jordan
would be nice too,

because I love basketball so much.
or maybe

Lincoln, that way I can keep the L
as my middle
initial.