do it without me

I used to worry.
attempt to make others
good.
listen to each word and
analyze
it's secondary meaning.
I used to look into the eyes
of someone
I didn't trust
to figure out
what they were actually up
to and doing.
I used to cringe
at the hour, at the sound
made,
at the sigh, or crying.
the ding
of a phone,
wondering, wondering, wondering.
full of fear,
knowing that something
wasn't right.
that behind each word spoken
was a lie.
I used to worry
and try to control,
to try and make life what
i wanted it to be,
when what I really
had to do was open
the door, and say go,
Go be sick with
Someone else,
go have your own version
of life, but do it without
me.