the balance sheet

when you add them up,

as you near the end,

you'd like the count to be

more happy days

than sad ones.

you go through the years

as you lie in the hospital

bed with people

crying around you, or

reading the newspaper

waiting for you to die.

but you count the good

years, versus the bad years.

there was a good stretch in

the 70's and 80's.

then a few bad years in

the nineties. 

2018 was horrifically bad,

but last year was great.

i ask the nurse for a pen

and a piece of paper.

this will take some time,

i tell her,

so i shake the kink out

of an IV to keep me going.