it's my nature

it's my nature
to destroy, burn, crush,
delete,
block
and completely cleanse
all things
connected
with the past when things
have gone
wrong.
when the truth is known
and there's
no turning back.
it's darkly fun.
it feels good.
vengeful.
but deep inside I feel
the shame
of being
so ego driven, so hurt,
so affected by
the sins of others
thinking somehow that
they'd come around
and at last be who they
pretended to be,
if given enough time.
but again,
it's not me, not in my
nature
to stick it out once
the truth is found.
fuck that.
where's the hammer?
where's the saw,
the scissors,
the scalpel. the axe.
the barrel of fire
to burn it all,
to get this done,
where's
the shovel to put it
all in the ground?