I need a Favor

my father calls me
and says, I need a favor.

I start to think, what could that favor
be.
he's 92 with bad vision,
high blood pressure,

he can't hear, he can still move
around, but it's more like waddling now.

I can't imagine what this
favor could be.

a lightbulb changed, a chair
moved,
groceries at the store.

what, I say. what do you need.

I need some Viagra, he says.
I met someone on the internet
and she's
coming over for dinner

after meals on wheels leaves.
can you get me some on your phone.

I laugh at him thinking my phone
is a pill
dispensary. type the words
in and out comes
the pills

like a slot machine.
I don't want to start something
I can't finish, he says.

to which I say no.
how long have you known this
woman?

how do you even know it's a woman,
it's the internet.
I refuse to be the person that
finally kills him,

although many have tried, mostly
ex wives.

come on, he says. please. just a
handful of pills.

these are not fred flintstone
vitamins, I tell him, you can't keep
taking them
by the handful and expect
immediate results.

there's more to it than that.
whatever he says. will you or
wont you get me some Viagra.

no. you have to go to your doctor,
I tell him, so he hangs up the phone
and calls my sister.