if i had a car like that

if i had a car like that,

i'd ponder

at the age of ten or eleven

walking

the cold

streets throwing newspapers

onto porches

that lined

my route.

if i had a car like that, how

wonderful that would

be,

and then

it became if i had a girlfriend

like her,

so amazing, so lean,

so pretty,

or a house like the house

like the one

up there on the hill

surrounded by willow trees,

how wonderful

and complete life would be,

and then

one day you have it,

but realize that all of it

means nothing,

if you're still unhappy.