post op surgery visit

the post op

follow up visit

to the surgery was the most pain

i've ever

experienced in

my life.

and that includes

the pain endured by each

of the last

two wives.

with a thin metal prong

up my nose,

and a camera light

the surgeon found

the bone, the inflamed

tissue,

the nerve ending,

raw from surgery and made

me scream,

made me cry

as he washed

it all out with Lidocaine

and saline

and who knows what.

it made me scream out to my God,

and ask

why He had

forsaken me.

i tried to push him away,

push away his instruments

of torture to the side,

to defend

myself,

but he held his ground,

planting his shoes 

on the bloody floor

and dug deep 

into my nasal passages,

beyond  my

eyebrows

and to where

my brain

was on fire with fear.

i almost blacked out.

i was trembling, crying,

my pulse raced, i was

drenched in my own sweat.

i sat there emotionally

drained. weeping

in a fetal ball.

then he left, but not before

telling me,

okay, that went well.

same time,

next week?