The Pool Is Open

the pool is open.

I get my three pages of rules and regulations
in the mail slot.

a yellow pass is stapled
to the instructions.

no diving.
no running.
no hanging onto the ropes.

no smoking,
no drinking or eating,
or chewing gum.
no carousing or
talking

loudly about anything,

especially politics,

no gambling.
no splashing,

or swimming with unusual strokes.
no pointing at people
and laughing.

no music.
no peeing in the pool,
that goes for you too grandpa.

anyone wearing a diaper or
depends
will not be allowed in the water

until the last fifteen minutes
before closing.

that includes those with open wounds

or runny noses.

no spitting. respect your 15 year
old just
certified life guard.

obey the whistle, his three hours

of training

could save your life.

if you don't know how to swim,

don't get in the water.

you can dangle your feet in the shallow

end,

but that's it.

you must wear a bathing suit.
a mask
and have a clean bill of health

authorized by your doctor,

or web md. .

everyone must take a three minute
hot shower
using soap before entering

the radiation chamber.

you must remain there until the red
light turns green

then proceed to an assigned
spot on the pavement
six feet apart from the next nearest
towel.

temporary vision loss and vomiting

may occur.

have fun and enjoy what's left of

your summer.