thoroughly P whipped

my friend Jimmy

is scared

of his new wife

who teaches yoga

one hour at week

at the community center.

he can't

express

his opinions anymore

when she's around.

why not,

i ask, as he looks over

his shoulder,

his hand trembling.

he then whispers

into my ear, because

she'll cut

me off.

no more, you know, nothing,

i'll get the cold

shoulder

and cot in the cellar

for a week.

but isn't it your house,

aren't you the one who

works

two jobs,

who cuts the grass, paints

the shingles

and brings

home the bacon?

yeah, yeah, i know, i do

all the heavy lifting, but

if she finds out who i voted for,

and that i don't

like her septum ring

and blue hair,

i'll never

have sex again,

at least not with her.

key words, i tell him. 

at least not

with her. next round is on me,

buddy.