where's the bathroom?

by accident

i took a bite of a plant based

hamburger.

i chipped

a tooth

on the hard cardboard

concoction

formed from

the shredded likes

of kale

and barley, legumes

and dirt.

it looked like a burger

from Five Guys,

the same

shape,

the same color, but 

no matter how much

ketchup

i put on it, or lettuce,

or onions, or a slice

of tomato,

and no matter how

sugary sweet the bun

was that held

it all together,

it sent me running 

down the hall

for the bathroom.