going winter crazy

i yell down

to my imaginary Butler,

Wilson,

to fix me a cup of coffee

and to

whip up two eggs

over easy

before i hit the road.

of course he doesn't answer,

because

well,

because he doesn't exist.

i tell him

to bring up the paper,

then walk

the dog.

i tell him the grocery

list is on the fridge

for when he goes to the market,

and to pick up my kids

at school at three,

who also don't exist.

and please go easy on

the collars

with the starch, i tell him.

they're a little

too stiff.