Your Honor, I object

I've been studying the law
for some time now
and feel that i'm ready to take
the bar exam.

most of my education though
has been through
television and an assortment of
movies,

like to kill a mockingbird,
or the verdict,
my cousin vinny, not to mention
perry mason,
judge judy
and divorce court.

I've had some hands on experience
there.

sometimes, I yell out, I object,
your honor
when in an argument with someone
I disagree with, an angry ex wife,
or when a surly friend rambles
on about something
making no sense whatsoever.

where were you on the night of...
I might say, or
isn't it true that you need glasses
when you drive?

or

isn't it true you were having an
affair with the deceased,
and that you work for a cement
company
down by the river where the body
was discovered
tied to a bucket of hardened
cement? well?

remember you're under oath!

may I approach the bench your honor?

ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
I stand here...etc. blah blah blah.

I've seen enough legalese,
and depositions in
my life time to
write up a will, or a divorce
decree. piece of cake.

sign here, initial here,
repeat over and over with
each new triple spaced page.