not so intelligent design

I meet my friend jimmy over at the local
Fridays for lunch and we start to have
a deep discussion on evolution versus
creationism.
first we get an order of onion rings
for the table and a couple of beers.

it's the big bang, dude, he says to me,
making his eyes go wide, staring at me
like i'm a moron.
there was this big explosion, boom.
he spreads his hands apart and shakes them.

that's how it all got started, then
lighting hit a puddle of mud and water,
and voila,
that's where we came from. don't you
ever watch carl sagan, or listen to
that real smart guy who uses that robotic
voice thing?

So, fish, birds, apes, men, women, rhinos
and chickens? I ask him. everything
came out of that one single puddle?
just like that?
hell yeah, he says, dipping an onion ring
into some ketchup.

we all came out of the same puddle, me
you, the waitress, like where is she,
i'm starving here. Michelangelo, Einstein,
Madonna, everyone came out of that
big pile of goo, after it was hit by
a bolt of lightning.

Madonna? I say. Never mind.
come on now. and who made the lightning?
the earth, stars, the universe?

what about trees, and plants, fruits
and vegetables, insects. microbes.
there seems to be some sort of intelligent
design going on here. don't you think?
there seems to be an order to life,
a set of scientific laws that are immutable.

huh? he says, and grabs another onion ring,
so look, here's the deal, Darwin,
you know who Darwin is right?
white beard, kind of creepy looking guy
and all that, well, he
said it in his book, you got your puddle and
lighting, then bam, lighting strikes the goo.
the goo gets stirred up with electricity
then a few billion years
go by and voila.
fish, birds, monkeys, apes and then us.
next thing you know, here we are
having lunch.

he snaps his fingers at the waitress,
hey hon, he says, two more beers here
and a plate of ribs and slaw.
you? same, I tell her. same thing.

okay, she says. got it.
she walks away while jimmy shakes his head
looking at a tattoo
of a butterfly on her leg.
hey, he says, i'm thinking
about giving her my number.
she's kind of cute, don't you think.
girls with tattoos are on the crazy side.
I like that.

ummm, yes. she is cute,
but she might be twenty three
at the most, you're fifty two.
fifty one, he corrects me. but I
feel a lot younger, ya know.

okay, so where were we, he says. you
know I got an uncle that sort
of reminds of a gorilla. uncle Max.
I think I have a picture of him
in my phone. this dude looks
just like an ape, but without
all the hair. he looks just like
that guy in the evolution time line.
Here, take a look.
is he from the Bronze age, or what?