visiting her grave

i visit her grave,
despite the fact that she's
still alive.
i go to lay flowers
at the stone
that bears
her name.
i say a few words, rambling,
trying to find
some semblance of peace.
trying to figure out how any
human being can
be such a liar, so full
of sickness
and deceit.
i stare at the ground,
the dirt
covered in green.
i look around at the other
graves.
some fresh, some
well kept, some, like hers
rarely visited
or seen.
but i'm here, so relax
old girl,
and quit
nagging me. get off my back,
out of my life, my brain.
at some point, i'll
be healed and i won't
be coming by
again.