cracker jacks not drugs

at around ten p.m.

i need

something.

something crunchy, sweet

perhaps,

or salty.

something to eat,

but not a meal.

but a snack

of some sort,

a bag or a box

of something bad for

me, but in the moment

satisfies

my existential hunger.

something i can

dig into,

like a box of Cracker Jacks,

and eat until

i get sick,

tipping the almost empty

box up

to my open mouth.

just a treat.

this is why i never did

drugs in my teen

years.

i'd be in a shelter,

or on

a curb now,

a hopeless addict

yearning for a fix.