Saturday, October 12, 2024

the roulette wheel of online dating

when i used
to binge date on several
online
dating apps,
it was always a crap shoot,
for me
and them.
we're they willing
to date
a middle aged man
who was losing
his hair,
and who could stand to
lose a few pounds
of weight?
divorced and still paying
alimony?
i didn't hunt camp or fish,
or jump
out of planes.
nor did i like to hike.
was i tall enough,
and did this shirt
i pulled out
of the laundry basket
have any stains
left over from the calamari
the other night?
and was i willing to throw
my hat into the ring
with someone
on Prozac,
and Botox, seeing
two therapists,
and yet who said they
loved to laugh,
but left out the part
about how they loved to eat?
so many were
living on alimony, child support,
and packing
heat?
was i ready to turn the page
and start
a new chapter
with a woman who had
a criminal
record
and enormous feet?

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