a day in the life of a candidate

what's next

on the list, the candidate

says to her

chief of staff.

well,

we have three churches to

go to,

Catholic, Baptist

and Presbyterian,

two malls

for some kabobs,

and a farmer's market

to please

the vegetarians,

then after

that,

you have to go work

at a pizza parlor

for an hour,

for the Italian vote,

then up to Harlem

to eat

ribs.

then over to Pennsylvania

to buy

an apple pie or two from

the Amish.

when we're done with that,

we're off

to Chinatown

for some crispy beef

and dumplings,

then down to NYC for a bagel

and a schmeer

of cream cheese,

can't forget the Jews.

here, drink some Pepto Bismol,

and put this

bib on,

you'll need that too.