do you like pets?

i can hardly

understand the telemarketer

on the phone

selling windows,

she has a heavy Indian accent,

but i listen

just the same.

it's her job, so i give her

some time

to practice

her skills.

she asks me if i like pets,

which i hear as 

do i like sex.

i tell her yes. of course i do.

oh, that's nice,

she says, what kind?

i tell her, you know, just

the regular

kind, nothing crazy with

ropes and chains,

or whips. i'm pretty vanilla.

oh, you

chain your pussycat up to a tree

and hit her with

a whip?

what?

oh no, no, never.

although i had this,

girlfriend once,

a crazy flight attendant

from LA,

who probably would have liked

that.

so, she says, clearing her throat,

so how many windows and doors

do you have?

maybe you need a new roof, right?

ummm.

what?

what does this have to do 

with sex?