Bottom of the Barrel

i meet my friend jimmy 

up at the local bar,

six stools apart.

we have to talk really loudly though,

because

of our diminished hearing.

we lean towards each other, cupping

our hands to our ears.

he tells me he's joined a dating site

and has met someone.

which site, i ask him.

it's called 
Bottom of the Barrel, he says.

it's a free site

unless you want to message them.

it's the number one dating

site at nursing homes

and assisted living

facilities, not to mention prisons.

oh, i say. sounds interesting. i've

tried them all,

but not that one.

hey, he says, at this age, what chance

do we have on the other sites.

what?

he yells back, what chance do we have...

never mind.

what's her name?

i forget he says. it might be ruby,

or sally,

something with a y on the end of it.

her screen name is foxylady69.

she's got some miles on her, but she's

cute from what i can see

from her candle lit bathroom picture.

shame she didn't flush the toilet behind

her though. 

we did a  zoom the other day and it

went pretty well.   she was wearing her

mask because her grandkids were there

on her lap. she has seven cats, by the way.

she named them all after the seven

dwarfs.

seven dwarfs. there's  dwarfs on that site?

no no....she named them sleepy, dopey...etc.

oh.

we're going to

hike rag mountain next weekend

once she gets out of the hospital.

what's she in for?

no idea. some girl stuff i guess, or her

varicose veins that are popping out

pretty bad.  she sent me a picture.

maybe i'll give that site a shot.

i got nothing going on right now,

with the virus and all that.

you never know when old cupid is

going to put an arrow through you though.

but it 

sounds like you got a keeper with her.

this round's on me.

what?  i said, this round...oh never mind.

Bartender!!