once. it was on a dating site
called Come as You Are dot com.
which was to my advantage
since i hadn't shaved,
or changed my clothes,
and had a crazy red pimple
growing on my chin,
not to mention
a rash on my arms
from poison oak or ivy,
but she couldn't see any of that.
she told me in our chats that
she was legally blind, to which
i asked if it was possible to
be illegally blind. she thought
that funny, and so wanted to
meet this wonderful wit who didn't
give a never mind about
her infirmity. which it really
wasn't. she had a nice white cane,
a big dog, and was dressed
to the nines. beautiful and kind.
not once did she miss her mouth
with a fork or spoon,
or spill anything on her pink
dress that reminded me of what
Jackie O might wear
to the French Embassy with JFK.
i told her i was partially deaf
in one ear, to try and even things
out, to which she said, i noticed.
left ear? yes, i told her, as she
spoke louder and reached out
to touch my hand, tapping it
as if to comfort me for my
disability. she seemed to know
what i was thinking, as if her
loss of site, had increased
her ability to sense things, almost
read minds.
you want to kiss me, don't you,
she said. to which i said.
i do. i really really do want
to kiss you. can I?
she said maybe, which i took
as a yes, so i leaned across the table
to plant one on her lips,
when suddenly
her german shepherd barked
and bit me on the leg.
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