the funeral director date

it's like the march of the penguins
she tells me,
talking about her experience
with online dating,
all the men are fat
and short.
waddling in with bald heads
and shirts misbuttoned.
I think all the good ones are
gone, she says.
not a brad pitt in the bunch.
nothing but lou asners.

she sighs.

I've never met so many nice
people that I never want to
see again.
that's a shame, I tell her.
so who's next on your hit list.
what's the next date.
she looks at her watch,
i'm meeting a funeral director
for coffee at six.
married three times, says
he's into tantric sex.
I may tell him to bring a
brochure from his work.