mercy mercy

i hate sarcasm
she used to say. everything
is not a joke.
you laugh
at everything, aren't you
ever serious.
don't you ever stop
being on, stop being a clown
and a constant
observer of the absurdities
in life
that go on?
mercy mercy,
quit making fun, she'd say.
not everything is a joke.
stop it. just stop it, or
else.
so like i a fool, i did.
i became a doormat,
a bump on a log,
a non entity just hanging out.
i went silent
and became someone else,
someone similar
to some dope she loved
in her past,
i guess,
and it nearly killed me.