trip to mars

i plan a trip
to mars.
i'm going alone. done
with people.
sick
of love, sick of myself.
tired
of emotions
and self control.
exhausted with
self awareness,
self help.
i'm tired of sleeping
alone.
of eating alone.
of working
alone.
i'm even tired of my runny nose.
tired of writing
these
self absorbed poems.
i need a break from this
planet.
this slowly
melting orb.
i need some time
to think,
to get whole.
i need to empty my head,
get right.
get better.
find peace and rest,
find someone that won't
leave,
someone i can hold.