i wanted Dr. House, but got Dr. Suess instead

i try

to get my doctor on the phone,

but he's on

his boat

off the coast of

Italy.

if this is an emergency,

dial 911

the recording says.

otherwise,

i'll contact you after

the holidays.

Merry Christmas

to you and your family.

for refills on your prescriptions,

call my head nurse,

Maybeline.

otherwise see

you on the flip side.

next year.

i look at the calendar.

it's still

October.