vanilla sex

she told me once,

with our faux marriage

in shambles,

full of lies and deception,

as we lay in bed after

going through the motions 

of vanilla sex,

that i seemed

more relaxed,

less tense

afterwards.

not as full of anxiety

and fear

as i had been since

the day i met her.

i looked at her and said,

you're very observant

aren't you?

well, maybe in a month

or two

well do it again,

she said with a smile.