sloe gin remorse

the first time

i got drunk, 

and then sick,

i was maybe

seventeen years old,

hair down to my shoulders,

in love with

vivian mysior, the captain

of the cheerleaders.

she didn't love me though,

thus the over serving

of myself

of sloe gin.

a pint bottle did the trick.

we were on the ball field

late at night with

friends i'd seldom see again,

sitting on the stands.

i remember the world

suddenly spinning,

the stars above me bright

clusters, like clumps

of lights, it was a new world,

a painful world of bad

choices,

one i would repeat over

and over again,

and try to understand.