of foods
i no longer want to be around.
i'll start with
chick peas.
i just don't like the look
of them.
they seem unfinished
and have a soft mushy
way about them.
tasteless and not pretty.
then soy beans.
i don't care about soy.
soy milk.
there is no soy cow, so
stop calling it milk.
it's juice squeezed
out and dyed white.
tofu.
come on. i don't care if
you shape it into a turkey.
get it out of here.
scrapple. good lord.
are we in a Georgia state prison?
floor scraps of a pig
molded
together with lard.
i've seen the exact same
thing when
my garbage disposal
was replaced
by my plumber Mike.
kale.
no.
please. insanity. God's
agricultural joke
on us all. i don't have
three hours to chew one
piece of kale.
lima beans. if elected
i will eliminate lima beans
from the face of the earth.
next on the list
is liver and onions.
i don't want to eat any organs
from anywhere.
from any animal.
hearts brains,
kidney, whatever.
i don't want to read grey's
anatomy as if it's a menu.
and finally
calamari.
those unchewable rubber
bands from the bottom of the sea.
chopped into little
gaskets, deep fried
and greasy
basically tasteless chewing gum
that you finally give
up on and just swallow them
in bits and pieces.
why not just get onion rings?
if i can't pronounce it,
or never heard of it
it's probably a good idea
to steer clear of it,
no matter how nutritious
and wonderful martha stewart
claims it to be.
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