you get three wishes

i find an old bottle

in the attic.

left over by someone

who lived here

years ago.

it's more of a lamp

than a bottle.

i give it a rub

to wipe the dust off

and out comes a Genie.

who are you, he says.

where's Mildred?

i don't know i tell him.

i think she's probably

dead.

oh, he says, rubbing

his eyes.

i've been asleep for

a long long time.

but you know the drill.

you get three wishes.

that's nice i tell him.

his arms are folded

and he's wearing a turban.

with a big jewel

in the center of the purple

wrap.

three wishes? i tell him.

yes.

can i think about this

for  day or two.

is that your wish?

no, no...don't try and trick

me.

what did Mildred wish for.

hmmm. he says, hand

on his chin.

well, she wanted a new

boyfriend, she loved the mailman,

so i set that up.

complete disaster.

he had more girlfriends on

his route than you

can shake a stick at.

then she wanted

a cat,

and then she wanted to learn

out to crotchet really fast

to make her friends 

jealous when they came

over to have tea and a chat.

where's the cat?

the boyfriend?

i don't know, he says, these

things rarely work out

for good.

so my advice is to keep it

simple. don't go for emotional

things like

love, or peace and harmony.

feed the world, all 

that liberal malarkey.

it never works out the way

you think it will.

go for money.

a boat maybe, or a nice house

in Nantucket.

do you want a nice watch,

something like that?

No.

okay, then what?

okay. i tell him, rubbing my

hands together.

here we go.,

i want a beautiful house

on Nantucket. Unlimited

money and Heidi Klum.

really? he says. that's it?

those are your lame wishes.

Heidi Klum?

i shrug i guess so, no wait.

maybe the ability to go back

into time

whenever i want.

so no Heidi Klum. yeah, forget

her.

okay, he says, bored with the whole

thing. but i like

the go back into

time one, he says.

 that should be interesting.

he shuts his eyes and says

some hocus pocus mumbo

jumbo and then says your

wishes have been granted.

it'll take about a month for

them to happen. sorry, but

it's policy...paperwork. etc.

then he disappears

in a puff of smoke.