over on
the mayflower.
cold as hell on that ship.
it was like
a cork
bobbing on the ocean.
i was sea sick the whole nine
months
we sailed.
i had nothing to read
no internet connection, nothing.
and my wife was still mad
at me for
something i said back
in england
about her never wearing
high heels.
she yelled constantly
at me for stealing our
one blanket as we
rolled along the wet deck
trying to sleep.
finally someone yelled out
land ho.
we all screamed with joy.
pointing at
the rocky shoals.
but the captain said, no.
not there.
what the hell.
he had the map upside down.
at that point we were
so sick of eating fish
we started to eat
our shoes
and parts of the ship.
all of us had cut lips from
the splinters.
finally we landed.
we had nothing.
the indians killed off half
of us
in about two minutes
for stealing their corn,
i got an arrow in my arm,
which i immediately broke
off and ate.
the rest got measles,
chicken pox,
and whooping cough,
but there were lots of squirrels
to eat.
i made a coat out of about
a dozen rabbits
and was quickly named
mayor for the week.
i'll never forget that first thanksgiving
though.
turkey, mashed potatoes.
gravy.
someone found a pumpkin
pie in
storage next to the salt,
then we put the game on.
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