what does he possibly see in her?

as we sit on the couch sipping

our vanilla bean 

Ensure

spiked with bourbon,

a news clip of the old coach

and his new

girlfriend

appears on tv.

he's 72, she's 25.

she's wearing a red micro

bikini

as she jogs along the shoreline.

foamy waves

are splashing onto

her tanned athletic body.

he's tailing

behind her, sort of limping

on bad knees

and is wearing plaid pants,

and a captain's hat.

can you believe that? my wife,

says. the audacity.

it's disgusting, just horrible.

what does she see

in him other than money?

and him,

what possibly could he see

in her?

i sit up on the edge of the couch

and put my glasses on.

beats me, i tell her.

maybe she's a good conversationalist,

or a culinary chef.

i don't know.

by the way, does this remote

control

have a slow-motion button?