Jenna and Jimmy doing hard time in the jump

i visit Jimmy in the slammer.

he's doing

five to ten for burning up

electric cars

and carving swastikas into

oak trees.

he goes by Jenna now,

smartly transitioning

before the sentencing. 

he's wearing lipstick and has

his hair in braids.

and has on what looks

like a pink push up bra.

he's shaved his legs.

what's up Jimmy?

what's with the Halloween

outfit. have you lost your

marbles?

and what's that smell?

good God, man, you stink

to high heavens.

shhh, you're going to blow

my cover.

call me Jenna. 

and the reason i stink

is because i haven't taken a shower

in three weeks.

as soon as i do,

everyone is going to know

i'm not a girl.

i just couldn't go to a men's

prison, you know.

i wouldn't survive.

but here, i'm star on the volleyball

team, center on the basketball

team, and my boxing record,

is thirteen and O.

but truthfully.

i wish i hadn't done what i did.

i got caught up in the frenzy

of hatred.

stupid i know.

i was mixed up with a bad crowd

of angry blue haired women.

but listen brother,

you have to get me out of here.

do you know how hard it is

being a woman, i mean a real

woman?

i count calories now.

i'm forced to watch the View every day

in the rec room.

do you have any idea what i have

to do to get a single tube

of lipstick in here?

or an ounce of Oil of Olay?

please, i beg of you, my brother,

you have to get me out

of here.

i need a Clarence Darrow,

or a Johnny Cochrane to litigate

for me.

Get me out of here.

is that a nose ring in your nose,

Jimmy? i mean Jenna.

nah, it's like a little clamp thingy

i made from a bed spring.

my roomie, Bertha, showed me how.