a natural response

i went through

a period of time where anything

could make

me cry.

i had become a woman,

a girl,

a blouse wearing poet.

i started to watch hallmark

movies.

the ones where the woman

returns to her

small town

to find that her old high school

sweetheart is

still there

and needs help

on his Christmas tree ranch.

i start crying

and have to change the channel.

soap commercials.

standing in line

for coffee.

i'd start with the water works.

i finally went to my 

therapist and asked her what

the deal is.

she said, you're grieving

a loss.

not just the last relationship,

but every relationship that didn't

pan out.

you're grieving your absent

father, your mother.

childhood.

everything behind you is part

of you now.

and crying is a natural response.

it will end at some point.

let it flow. let the tears shower

down.

say that i again, i tell her,

i think i may use that some day

in a poem.

let me write that down.