bird brain

it was mistake,

but when she returned from

Costa Rica

on a new age

mumbo jumbo spiritual retreat,

she wanted a bird.

a colorful big bird

who could

speak.

she bought a giant cage

for the living

room, big enough

to fit three people in.

the bird learned our names.

he sang, he whistled,

he fluttered his clipped wings.

but he was a biter too.

having bit my thumb

when i tried to reach in

to pet him.

before i read the newspaper

she'd have it

stretched out

on the bottom of his cage

to catch his

endless droppings.

and then he started to make

a loud siren noise

at all hours of the night.

what can we do,

i asked my then wife?

this thing will outlive us.

we can't just put him outside,

he can't fly. she said.

we can't eat him either, i

added in, there's very little

meat on birds like that.

which made her roll her

eyes and sleep in the other

room, that night.

finally we found a new home

for him on e-bay.

lowest bidder got the prize.

i got out of my cage too

not long after that.