beef liver for dinner

i keep reading 

and watching informative

videos

about how good liver

is for you.

packed with vital nutrients

for better health.

the French call it foie gras,

for duck

or goose liver,

but what do they know?

so i buy some beef liver

instead,

a bloody

pack at the grocery store.

a dollar ninety-nine.

it's about the size and shape

of a deflated

football,

but solid red, almost blue.

boneless of course.

after draining the blood

off,

i toss the slab

into a frying pan

with melted butter.

i'm gagging already.

wincing

as the organ meat fries up,

throwing a grey unfamiliar odor

into the air.

what was i thinking.

should i add some

onions, garlic, season it?

finally it's cooked, i think.

so i slide

the mess onto a plate

and cut off a small piece.

i grimace and put it in my

mouth,

slowly i chew.

then i think, i'm eating 

a cow's liver.

i've crossed some line in the sand

that i might not

be able to go back to.

animal organs.

what's next, hearts,

kidneys,

lungs? bladders?

i can't spit it out fast enough

into the sink,

then turn on the garbage

disposal.

i rinse my mouth out with

water, gargling

as much of that liver taste away

as i can,

then quickly floss

my teeth, after a thorough

brushing.

finally after

settling down, with my hands

no longer trembling,

i go back to the fridge.

how about scrambled eggs

tonight and bacon?