calamine lotion

i send twenty dollars in

to the television preacher to see

if he can heal

this rash i have on my leg.

it's itching like crazy.

i put my hands on

the television

and say what he's telling

me to say. people are

shouting and falling

all over the stage.

i close my eyes, get on my

knees.

then my wife comes in and

says,

what are you doing?

i'm getting my leg healed.

i sent in twenty bucks

for a healing.

what are you nuts, here.

rub this calamine lotion

on it, you have 

poison ivy, you dope.