landed at jamestown
after six months of being
out to sea, eating fish
and not taking a bath, using
a limited supply
of baby powder to stay fresh.
finally someone yelled out
and said land ho,
to which we all said, right,
that joke is getting old.
but there was land and so
somebody woke up captain smith
who was in his suite
with the pastor's wife,
who was a widow now
because the pastor 'fell'
overboard one night in a storm.
alright, he said, looking
through his spy glass,
we're here. i think.
he crumpled up the map he
was looking at and said,
whatever.
we looked out at the endless
thick woods teaming with bugs
and snakes,
and shook our heads
scratching at our enormous
mutton chops.
we then rowed ashore and started
shooting animals with our muskets
for new clothes and food
and cutting down trees for lodging
it was a nightmare.
someone forgot to bring
the axe sharpener and so we
had to use our giant belt buckles
to carve wood. it was
cold as hell too and the snow was
already half way up our
capri sailing pants.
i came down with the whooping
cough the first week
and my wife betty got a
case of the mumps despite
the squirrel shawl i made her,
but then she caught an
indian arrow
in the back of the neck
that was impossible to pull out,
and died three weeks later.
so i had to marry her cousin
charlotte who was only twelve
at the time, but already a fine
seamstress.
the stew she made with wild
rabbit and chopped shallots
was uncanny.
No comments:
Post a Comment