for the next and hopefully
final true love of my life.
i narrow down the attributes for
my next cell mate, whoops,
i mean soul mate.
i throw away the old list,
tossing it across the room
into the wastebasket. swish.
okay. where should we begin.
non smoker. easy one.
no drugs, no excessive use
of alcohol unless it's a holiday
or the weekend. swearing is okay.
maybe one tattoo if it's not
a swastika or a caricature
of the devil, or something
like that.
teeth. it's good to have teeth.
smart. smarter than me would
be nice, and not a reach,
especially around
tax time. someone with
good manners. knows how
to fold a fitted sheet. a reader.
physically fit, is a plus,
but not bone skinny living
on lettuce.
no one with blue or green
hair. just the regular colors,
please.
loyal and true. no liars, hate that.
a good kisser.
not too sloppy though.
not a fan of the drool.
legs are nice to have too,
and arms. cooking skills
would be great, but not
mandatory. one or two dogs
or cats, at the most.
no pet snakes, or reptiles.
i don't like someone that whistles
a lot, or plays the banjo.
kind of weird.
financially independent is
important, as is having a car,
or some sort of transportation
other than feet.
kind compassionate and
silly are all good traits to have.
a dormant libido. not good.
no ex's lingering in the shadows
is a must.
someone not currently in big
trouble with the po po.
or in rehab, or in a straight
jacket. or on their cell phone
24/7. i know that eliminates
a lot of people, but i have to
draw the line somewhere.
oh, and least i forget, someone
with girl parts,
don't make me draw a picture.
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