i'm good now

it's an alley

that i lean my ladder against

before climbing

thirty feet

into the air

to paint the small square

window

in the attic.

it smells of sewage.

dead things.

grime

and mud. black mud.

i step and slide.

i inch along the wet

walls,

looking at the mildew

in the dank narrow

space, full of shadows.

i catch my breath

before climbing,

and look down and see

a small green sprout

with a yellow leaf

growing. it's beautiful.

i'm good now.