whatever you do, don't buy a boat

she told

me that whatever you do when

you finally retire

is to not buy a boat.

i don't care how much

you love

the water and fishing.

don't do it.

you'll regret it the moment

you set sail

and your bank account dwindles

down to nothing.

do you know

what gas costs these days?

do you know

about rust

and mildew, mold,

sewage,

and electricity?

do you know aft from stern?

do you know

how to read a map,

or navigate by the stars,

or how to tie a knot?

do you realize that Safeway

sells fish now

and you don't have to spend

all day out

on the Chesapeake Bay

trying to catch one?