the long goodbye

the in-laws

came one Christmas

for a week.

but then they didn't leave.

i'd whisper

to my wife at night

behind

closed doors and ask her

what's up with them,

why don't they go home.

they're starting to annoy me.

they eat like there's

no tomorrow, he sits in

my easy chair

and controls the remote,

and your mother

uses up all the hot water

with her long

baths in our bathroom.

not to mention their two

dogs who are chewing up

the furniture and filling

the yard with their business.

almost every night the walls

are shaking

as they make love.

why does she call him daddy

all the time?

aren't they too old to be doing

the wild thing so much?

can you talk with them

tomorrow and suggest that 

they go home?

i already did that, sweetie,

she said,

and we all agree,

we all want you to leave.