she may have been cheating on me

it all falls apart when

she starts

to tell me the story,

a true story, she says, hitting

my arm,

as she tells me

about how she was

abducted by aliens a few

months ago

when she was on vacation in

South Beach

with her friend Amber.

we were doing tequila shots

with a group

of frat boys from North Carolina

at this tiki bar

when suddenly

everything went black and

i woke up

in a spaceship

with these creatures staring

at me.

they had big eyes,

and long arms

she says.

and they had a language

unlike ours.

a high-pitched squeaky sound,

like minnie

and mickey mouse,

as if they were filled with helium.

they made me take my

clothes off.

i was wearing my orange

bikini and stiletto heels, at the time

with a beach towel wrapped

around me,

the one you bought me

for my birthday.

i look her as she wipes

what may be a tear from her

eyes.

and then what? i ask.

they made me lie

down on a gurney of some sort

then they started to probe me

with weird instruments.

she squeezes my hand. it was

very scary

i'm experiencing PTSD now

as it talk about it.

i passed out, and the next

thing i know,

i'm back in the hotel,

asleep, with house keeping

knocking on the door.

i swear to you it's true, she says.

pointing at her swollen

belly.

it's been nine weeks now.

honest, i wouldn't make this up.

you have to believe me.

really? okay, what's Amber's number?